Are you ready to drop to a 100k on some overland piece of shit Sprinter van? Why not spend a fraction of that on something way cooler that will get you 10 times more Instagram likes on your van life page. You’ll have so much money left over to actually afford the gas to get you across the country and smoke hella weed while doing it. Shit, you might not even need to work remotely with all the savings and sponsorships you’ll pick up by buying this thing.
The Love Beam Supreme is ready to take you anywhere you want to go. Don’t let the name fool you though, this 70s Econoline camper has seen minimal fucking in its interiors due to only having 55k miles on the odometer with no rollover. I’ve driven it right around one of the most phallic shaped lakes (Lake Michigan) this great country has to offer and back with zero issues and I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
You like air conditioning to soak up all your crusty kid sweat? Well, the original unit in this one will still blow it’s cool breath upon you as highway patrol pulls you over for swerving across that white line because of all the reefer you smoked knowing that money is now no object for the low price you paid.
Love Beam has everything you need to be self sufficient while getting weird in some remote forest except a shitter. But why would you want the option to shit in a van anyways? Your tweaker neighbors with the broke down old Dodge camper will just come over, drink all your booze, and take meth shits right before you fold out the lounge couch into your bed to lay down for the night. Imagine trying to fall asleep to the smell of some of Americas loosest buttholes permeating from your camper toilet? No thank you. I’ll gladly take my shits outside where god intended. A shovel and one roll of toilet paper will be provided with purchase.
Where this van lacks in presence of the most overrated convenience the modern world has developed, it makes up for in style with the wood-toned refrigerator that works on shore power or the auxiliary 12v battery. Along with the electric water pump that will deliver whatever liquid you decide to put into it’s holding tank, filtered out of the faucet for you drinking pleasures. The propane tank will ignite the heater and the burners on the oven/stove combo, allowing you to cook about 30 bratwurst while baking a gigantic flan cake for dessert.
This baby also has 110 power when plugged into powered camping spaces, allowing all your computers to be charged if you need to sell some Bitcoin to make your trip last even longer. But don’t forget, that your iPhones can still be charged off the USB ports using only that 12 volt magic juice while in more remote, blown out Instagram camping spots.
So why am I selling this rare, burnt-orange, perfectly patinaed gem? Well, all my crypto investments crashed and I owe my mom like 20k for all the bad investments I’ve made. My loss, your gain. 17k obo